Thank you for the Advent Spiral, looking ahead

Dear Families,

If you are new to our parent & child program or are inquiring about the program, please also visit the 2009 blog for our parent & child classes.  You are welcome to look back through this blog to find archives of articles.

Thank you for so many of you for attending our Advent Spiral Saturday morning. I have sent off the stars we gathered for our classmate who could not be there. Some of you have written very positive feedback about the event, which makes it likely I will organize a similar festival next December.

Be aware of the weather this week. You can check www.schoolreport.org and follow the headings to South Whidbey school district to see their school closure decisions. We follow their lead. I will also try to contact you if you do not have older children in the school. If your contact information has changed, please let me know.

If South Whidbey Schools are delayed an hour, we can still have our parent & child classes at 9am (an hour delay for the rest of our school).

For this week only as an experiment, if South Whidbey schools are delayed two hours, let's try having our Thursday class at 10 until noon. It is such a long break it seems a shame to cancel class as long as we can try being a little flexible. If South Whidbey schools are closed, we will cancel class and you will be credited for it.

On Friday, we have to begin and end class early so that parents and teacher can proceed to the Christmas Festival at the Whidbey Institute by 10:30am. Come as soon as you drop off your older children. Because we cannot have class late, we will have to cancel this Friday's class if South Whidbey Schools are delayed (though I would be glad to have you visit for an hour from 9 to 10, even if we don't have time for our full class).

The holiday season can bring joy. It can also bring stress.  I find this chapter from Mitten Strings for God helpful as I attempt to find the right endeavor and attempt what is doable and nourishing rather than becoming overwhelmed.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

New place to collect all parent & child information

Dear Families,

As the year has progressed, it has become apparent that it will be helpful to keep the blog address for our parent & child classes at the Whidbey Island Waldorf School more consistent from one session to the next. For the forseeable future in 2009, I will keep this blog going rather than starting a new blog for each session.

You can always view my profile to gain access to past blogs.

With warmth and light,

William Dolde

Thoughts and Songs for our Advent Spiral

Dear Families,



Remember that you are invited to our parent & child Advent Spiral on Saturday, December 13, at 9:30am, at the Sanctuary at the Whidbey Institute. Please read last week's blog entry for more information. Please do rsvp to me (341-5686, wdolde@gmail.com) or contact me if you have questions. I have been singing some of the songs I will sing during the spiral in class. Here are lyrics to many or all of the songs I plan to sing. I will also bring printed copies to the festival.

In addition to being a meaningful, intimate moment for families, it is also a chance to send our prayers, thoughts, warmth, and light forward to others. As we gather to share our light, let us also send our wishes to others who are not with us in person--those in the Whidbey Island Waldorf School community, Whidbey Island, and beyond.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

Invitation to Advent Spiral, Lyrics to Songs and Poems

Dear Current, Past, and Future Dewdrop, Rosebud Families and Friends,

       You are invited to attend an Advent Spiral adapted for younger children on Saturday, December 13, from 9:30 to 10:15am.  It will take place inside the Sanctuary at the Whidbey Institute.  Rather than turning left into the school parking lot on Old Pietila Road, continue down Old Pietila.  A half mile down is a parking lot.  Park and walk up the short but winding trail to your left (there is a sign pointing to the Sanctuary).  It may be possible for some cars to proceed along the road and park next Thomas Berry Hall (limited parking).  You can walk on a more level surface to reach the sanctuary from this parking lot.  Please rsvp to William Dolde wdolde@gmail.com or 341-5686.

Many Waldorf School set up an Advent Spiral for their early childhood and some elementary grade classes.  Traditionally, a class and teacher will enter a darkened space.  There will be harp or lyre or other quiet, meditative music.  A child or adult portraying an angel will light a candle in the center of a spiral of greens.  One by one, children have the opportunity to walk alone or with a teacher, light a candle from the central light, and place it along the path of the evergreen spiral.  It is a beautiful event, and like the lantern walk (and festivals and religious holidays such a Kwanzaa, Christmas, Hannukah, Holi, Solstice, and others) helps given an image of strength for the dark months of winter.  Our many lights together can light up the darkness of the months ahead.

In teaching parent & child classes, I have observed that some infants and toddlers find great nourishment from an event such as the Advent Spiral if I can adapt it.  Our parent & child Advent Spiral will take place in the morning, so the light outside will make it not quite so dark inside the Sanctuary.  Rather than having quiet harp music, I will welcome us with some fiddle tunes, and then we will sing songs about stars and from the season together (I will provide lyrics sheets) inside the Sanctuary.  My vision is that it will still be reverent, just noisier with more space for authentic infant and toddler interjections.  Rather than having children walk (or crawl!) alone, families will be invited to walk together, parents holding a child or a child's hand as they walk with a candle for the family.  I will walk along in cases where a parent needs two arms to hold a child and wants me to carry a candle. 

       Although I have adapted this festival, it may not feel just right for every child at her or his particular moment in development.  We will be singing and encouraging children to sing.  Children do not need to walk alone in front of a group.  Children do, however, need to be comfortable sitting on a parent's lap or next to a parent while others walk through the spiral.  There will be lit candles, so this will not be an appropriate place for a child to walk or crawl around freely.  If everyone arrives somewhat promptly, the festival itself should not take that long, and we welcome families to leave early if it is too hard for a child to sit.  Please contact me if you have questions.  I have seen some 6 month olds and 1 year olds enchanted by the singing and the light.  Some 1, 2, and 3 year olds find this delightful.  Other 1, 2, and 3 year olds (and their parents) find it an incredible struggle because the child is at a phase in which she or he needs to be always in motion and sitting and waiting provides more stress than is needed during this busy season.

Older siblings are welcome, but please keep the following in mind.  This festival is intended for infants, toddlers, and young preschoolers and their families.  If the older children can come as a support, sing with the family, and provide structure, it will be lovely to have them.  Some older children who have seen an Advent Spiral in kindergarten or their grades class might be frustrated because elements are simplified or missing.  In these cases, it may be best to seek care for the older child with another parent or friend.  Some older siblings, however, will be moved themselves as they witness the joy our infants and toddlers experience coming together in reverence, and having them along will be just right.

Here are lyrics to rhymes and songs I have been using in circle for this session.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

Child Development and Patience

Dear Families,



This will be our 4th week of class for this session. We will have no class next week for Thanksgiving and the day after with 3 weeks of classes in December. There are also a number of special events at the school in December, many of which you may wish to attend. In the coming weeks I will provide more information about upcoming events so you can decide whether it would be appropriate for your family or not.



This Thursday at 11 is an elementary school assembly at Thomas Berry Hall at the Whidbey Institute. Continue down Old Pietila Road. At 10:45am or so, the elementary classes walk down the road to the Institute and cars will not be able to drive. It is probably best to park at school and walk down or drive down very early. Grades 1 to 8 will each present music, verse, or movement for about 5 minutes. The assembly will last for about 45 minutes. While the material is not designed for young children, parents may be interested to come to an assembly to receive a glimpse of what occurs in the elementary grades. Some infants and toddlers will be quite content to keep you company; others would much prefer to be moving freely inside or outside.



The Holiday Workshop on Saturday, December 6 from 10 to 4, will have activities intended to delight very young children. There will be lots of live music (including a caroling vocal quartet of the two kindergarten teachers, the first grade teacher, and me--and perhaps an instrumental trio in which I'll be playing) and cheer. Some crafts and activities may be more suited for older children, but the organizers do want the day to be inclusive and festive for children of all ages.

As a follow-up to the article "Genuine Encounter" and our exploration of the time given for unique growing by Corkille Briggs, Gerber, Pikler, and Waldorf educators, I wanted to share this "Open Letter to the Mother of a 'Stuttering' Child" that I share with my nursery families as they prepare for parent & teacher conferences. This is an old article. It may not even reflect current research by speech experts. It was given to me by a professor at the University of Maryland when I was training to become a public school nursery or kindergarten teacher; she found it to be one of the most helpful articles she had ever read about the importance of allowing children time to develop before fixing them with a label. As you will read in the article, the author and other researchers found that the most potent cause of stuttering was the diagnosis of stuttering. All children stumble over words and repeat from time to time; it was only once a parent or teacher regarded this normal disfluency as a problem that speech became more difficult.I find many analogies with my work with children birth to 5. Children do not begin as miniature models of perfect adults (if there were such a thing) but develop in their own way and in their own pace. Some children may learn to ride a bike at 3, others much later. Some will be ready to solve conflicts with the words of Nelson Mandela or Gandhi from toddlerhood; most will use less beautiful forms of physical or verbal force as they learn how to be an individual in a group. Some children will pronounce all consonants at an early age. For some children, it is still normal for some consonants, especially blends, to wait until age 6 or beyond.

I am not advocating we ignore all medical professionals or other experts. There will be children for whom an early intervention provides tremendous benefits. For most children, even children with profound special needs, what we offer in Waldorf early childhood education and home life--real, meaningful work done artistically by a present adult in a nourishing enviroment that invites imitation and free movement and inspires the imagination, all within a strong rhythm that provides structure and predictabilty, while providing a life free from the over/understimulation of media, overscheduling, judgment, and rushing--already provides developmental help for all children. I was at a Sophia's Hearth workshop in Keene, NH, where this point was brought strongly to parent & child teachers. Rather than causing problems by expressing concerns to parents about what may be normal (though frustrating) toddler or infant development, we as teachers should strive to create such health-giving programs that all children benefit. We would be ready to answer questions or give unprofessional hunches if a parent sought one out.

The suggestions at the end of this article seem so close to what Corkille Briggs recommends in "Genuine Encounter," and I thought this would be a good research piece to go along with last week's selection.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

Genuine Encounter, Your Child's Self-Esteem

Dear Families,

      Outside the classroom is a printed copy and here is a electronic copy of the chapter "Genuine Encounter" from Your Child's Self-Esteem by Dorothy Corkille Briggs.  Three copies of this book are newly available in the Kathrine Dickerson Memorial Library.

It took many years for Magda Gerber to consent to (co)write a book.  She preferred to work in the present and presence of other teachers and parents.  When asked what books she would recommend, Your Child's Self-Esteem was one of the few books Gerber recommended.

The concept of self-esteem receives a great deal of somewhat justified criticism.  Followers of Professor Carol Dweck (such as Kim Payne)  bash a sort of self-esteem curriculum or style of parenting in which every action a child does is responded to with, "Good job!"  "You're such a good boy!"  "You're such a good girl!"  "You're so smart!"  As Dweck and others show, this sort of global praise actually interferes with a child's motivation to challenge her or himself, learn, try new things, and be willing to solve problems mentally and socially.  But, self-esteem in and of itself is very helpful, and Corkille Briggs (along with Gerber, Pikler, and numerous Waldorf educators) give us tools to help children develop their self-esteem without being paralyzed by praise or criticism.  Indeed, in the chapter, "The Safety of Nonjudgment," Corkille Briggs clarifies the perils of praise and criticism.  

"Genuine Encounter" encourages parents and teachers to free themselves from the buzz and busyness of life to provide moments of focussed attention to their children.  It is quality rather than quantity that Corkille Briggs encourages us to seek.  Although she does not work out the foundational pictures of human development that inspire Waldorf education, what Corkille Briggs describes for parents is very much the process that Waldorf teachers go through with their students, either alone in their meditative life or in concert with their colleagues.  Rather than forcing a curriculum upon children, Waldorf teachers strive to become so attentive and observant (very much again like the sympathetic stream of RIE and Gerber and Pikler) that the proper activity to help the situation and child will become manifest.  This ability to attend with focus is one of two, as it were, essential elements of Waldorf early childhood education.  The other is the ability to provide an example for children of real, meaningful, beautiful, physical work such as kneading bread, ironing, washing, chopping wood, sawing, sweeping, raking, cleaning, building, folding, sewing, knitting, and soforth.  Children take up this work with their whole being and imitate it either exactly or are inspired by the focus as they take up their own work and play.

Here are other chapters in Your Child's Self-Esteem I recommend.

The Safety of Nonjudgment

The Safety of "Owning" Feelings (rather than saying "You're OK" to our children to mollify them, we can describe what we see: "I saw you trip and now you are crying.  I want to help you feel better.  I wonder if a hug would help.")

The Safety of Unique Growing (normal child development is one step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, two steps back, and soforth.  Once a child walks, it is reasonable and developmentally appropriate for the child to want to crawl.  If a 5 year old is driving us crazy with baby talk, it may be by accepting our child is seeking permission to act younger we will empower our 5 year old to speak in many more and more beautiful ways).

Lifting the Mask of Jealousy (makes the helpful point that some jealousy--struggles over toys in an early childhood classroom, for example--and rivalry is helpful for children's development.  They learn to solve problems, to cope.  Too much jealousy, however, shuts down the children's ability to respond and solve problems:  Pokemon cards, fancy toys from home coming into the classroom, for example.  Some children fare much better on a play date during which favorite toys are taking a nap, or where the play date is somewhere other than home.  We need not condemn a child in this phase, but realize that we need to adjust the stimuli to make the possibility of jealousy manageable).

With warmth and light,

William Dolde

Lantern Walk Invitation, books by Magda Gerber

Dear Dewdrop and Rosebud Families,

You are invited to join our nursery and kindergarten families at our 5:30pm lantern walk this Friday, November 7. The puppet show that the kindergarten teachers and I will present seems to be a reasonable length for our infants and toddlers and is full of peaceful music and movement without a great deal of tension; this is to say that it is a good one to bring your child to--as long as you are prepared to step in the hall gracefully if sitting in the big group is too much. When my boys were younger, they found the lantern walk magical; I carried them in an ergo, backpack, or stroller. Some of our older toddlers could walk as long as they are willing to hold a parent's hand. I recommend having a carrier just in case if it still seems appropriate for your child.

Please read the following description from Children's Garden Chair, Kim Dunkley. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU PLAN TO ATTEND: wdolde@gmail.com, in person, or by phone 341-4124. The nursery children and I have been working to make extra lanterns for parent & child families; it will be important to know if I need 3 extra or 20 extra lanterns or something in the middle.

Dear Children's Garden Families,
As winter approaches we will kindle the light within us all at our upcoming Lantern Walk this Friday November 7th. We will gather our courage for the dark days ahead as we walk into the night with our shining lanterns guiding us. The lanterns are a symbol of our inner light that must be kindled during the long winter months ahead.

There will be two lantern walks, one at 5:30pm (we encourage parent & child families to come to this one) and one at 6:30pm. Please check the end of this letter to see which lantern walk your family is scheduled to attend. Siblings are welcome if they are able to support a reverent mood and if this will be the only lantern walk they will participate in this year. They can bring their own lanterns if they have one.

Please arrive on time and walk quietly to the playground where we will have hot apple cider.

Please do not arrive early or late. (This is very important). Park in the lower parking lot just off Campbell Rd (you turn immediately right as you come into the main driveway on Old Pietila Road).

After a few minutes we will go inside to the Butterfly classroom to watch a puppet play. The teachers will then lead us on the lantern walk. After the lantern walk we will lead you back to your cars and say goodbye.

This is a quiet and reverent festival and we ask that you help support this mood by quietly guiding your children through the experience.

Blessings
Kim, Dyanne and William

Here is a companion piece I wrote for "planning ahead." It gives ideas about how to weather the storm of tantrums when they arise no matter how well we structure our child's day. It combines wisdom from 1, 2, 3 . . . The Toddler Years with that of Magda Gerber and Waldorf early childhood practice.

We have added two books by Magda Gerber in the Kathrine Dickerson library. Dear Parent: Treating Infants With Respect and Your Self-Confident Baby were published at almost the same time and cover much the same material. They differ in style. Dear Parent features short chapters with titles such as "feeding," "crying," "in their own way," "diapering," "thumb or pacifier," "tantrums," and more. It can give excellent and caring advice and is easy to dip in and out of. The brevity of the chapters can be offputting for some. Your Self-Confident Baby has longer chapters, more theoretical depth, and more apparent substance. It seems particularly good at describing the value of observing your baby and honoring where your child is rather than trying to push her or him to the next developmental milestone. At the same time, I know some caring Waldorf teachers prefer Dear Parent because they find Your Self-Confident Baby too dogmatic at points. As long as I am willing to keep an open mind and accept that not everything will speak to me or harmonize with what I do, I find both books very helpful. I do recommend seeing a video of Magda Gerber or of Loczy or of Changing the World, One Diaper at a Time. There are elements of the caring love that Gerber's method includes that are hard to share in print. The enrollment office and I are working to arrange a video night at a venue away from school, and we will let you know when this occurs.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

Welcome to the late fall session

Dear Families,

Welcome and welcome back. Here are a few links and reminders for new families.

1. We will make soup each week. Please bring a vegetable when possible.
2. Here is a link to the late fall welcome letter. I have also posted a copy outside the room.
3. Here are lyrics to many of the songs I sing in class.

When possible, I will post a copy of my blog entry or article outside the classroom. I have heard from some parents that this works better for them. The electronic versions will remain (ideally for months or years ahead) as an easy way for you to retrieve an article or entry if you seek to share it with a friend weeks or years from now.

Over the next few weeks, I will preview some new books in the Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library (in the lobby upstairs from Butterfly classroom). Many parents from past classes have found 1, 2, 3 . . . The Toddler Years by Irene Van der Zande to be extremely helpful. It comes from the wisdom of Magda Gerber and RIE put into practice at the Santa Cruz toddler center. Its strength is that the chapters are short, direct, and effective. Parents find the chapters on fighting, biting, eating, toilet learning, tanrums, sibling rivalry, and separation ("Saying Goodbye is Sad") particularly helpful. Although the writing style is very different from the densely wrought prose of Whole Child/Whole Parent (more on this in a coming week), the gesture toward childhood is similar. Rather than reacting to our toddler's frustrating behavior with disappointment, we accept it--perhaps even welcome it--as an opportunity for transformation and growth. We can guide our children toward more appropriate behavior with calmness and clarity because we have accepted that these behaviors belong to childhood--are normal, even healthy.

I have summarized the chapter "Planning Ahead" and added some of my own thoughts to structuring our days with a toddler in mind.

While many parents find 1, 2, 3 helpful, it does not necessarily reflect what they or I would do in every situation, nor probably what most Waldorf Early Childhood teachers would recommend in every situation. In particular, the manner in which Waldorf teachers approach giving choices is a bit different. Rather than creating a myriad of potentially confusing questions throughout the day ("What color cup do you want? Do you want the red shirt or the blue shirt?), we foster the children's development of autonomy by providing ample amounts of time to play with open-ended materials. As long as the child's activity is safe, we allow the child to choose and create how to play. We develop our children's sense of trust when parents make choices about warmth, playdates, bed time, meals, and the like.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

Assurances from Whole Child, Invitation, Bread

Dear Families,

Several copies of the book Whole Child/Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends will be in our Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library soon. This book has been one of the most helpful books on parenting and teaching for me. Berends does not attempt to make the prose or argument simple. Indeed, where there are straightforward suggestions on motor development or selecting toys, I may find myself in disagreement. But as I read and reread her long chapters that weave together world religions, literature, and philosophy, I found myself able to acknowledge the gifts our children (and peers) give us through behaviors and situations that challenge us. As Berends writes, if we already knew what to do as parents (or teachers), there would be no reason for us to be parents. Assurances from the chapter entitled "Spirit" provides an introduction to Berends' manner of discourse. I will share other sections from her book in upcoming sessions of our Dewdrop and Rosebud classes.

Our new session begins October 30 and 31. I will have extra copies of the registration available this Thursday and Friday. I know several of you were not able to make the orientation before this session. Even though all families seem comfortable in class, parents may nonetheless enjoy coming to the 3pm orientation this Sunday. Because Adam Fawcett and I will have set up some sort of DVD system in the Butterfly Room, I will avail myself of this technology and show additional footage from Loczy of children and play and toddlers in social situations during the 3pm orientation. When our administrator Maureen Marklin learned of the topic for the 4pm public talk this Sunday, she wished that we could let more parents and expectant parents know of the topic (saying it was the sort of event she wished was available for her as a new mother). I encourage you to invite friends who are new or expectant parents to come this Sunday as well. New parents are welcome to bring babes in arms but should realize that we will be spending a good deal of time looking at (very valuable and peaceful, it is true) dvd clips on a relatively large screen.

When I became a parent & child teacher in Baltimore, I first worked in a classroom that had two toddler size toilets and sinks as part of the classroom--with a half door. In the younger classes, we kept the door closed. With older children, we kept the door opened, and a toddler or two would work towards independence in using the toilet or washing hands. One session, however, a group of five toddlers seemed to want to use the sinks and toilets all the time; at times, there seemed to be no interest in bread, soup, Ellersiek games, dancing, snack, or the like; the entire focus of the children was the competition for the two sinks or two toilets. If I had been twenty years more experienced, I might have taken a philosophical approach to this and convinced parents that this was the emergent curriculum for that group--and been believed. At the time, it seemed I needed to come up with a creative way to set a boundary that would satisfy children and parents--and would allow families to enjoy the snack, song, rhymes, and play that the classroom and curriculum could present. I turned out the light, put a child-proof handle on the half door, and asked the children to speak in hushed tones near the bathroom because a friendly Nix had moved in and was sleeping. I sang "Nix in the Water," a traditional kindergarten singing game and pretended to listen to see if the Nix sang back. At times that worked in concert with the flow of the rest of the class, I would let the children know that the Nix had woken up and gone away and that this was the time to use the sinks and the toilets, but to do so quietly and somewhat quickly so we could keep the Nix's home peaceful. The toddlers were satisfied with this imaginative picture, and our classes continued as parents and I had planned initially. In future sessions, the bathroom did not present such attraction or tension, and the Nix seemed to have moved away.

Our current Dewdrop and Rosebud classes present me another opportunity to create a boundary with an artistic image. Some parents in Dewdrop are finding their children quite willing to try soup and new vegetables if the bread is delayed a bit. I want to make this delay possible without putting other parents in the awkward situation of not knowing how to serve or to whom to serve bread. Other parents are finding themselves in power struggles with their toddlers over how many times to put more and more butter on a roll. While one could argue that the fats in organic, homemade butter have health benefits that outweigh the health benefits of organic spelt bread, I have seen the battle over butter take over the mood of the snack table. Even though I would be glad to give more butter at home, in the nursery and kindergarten I learned very early to give a clear and quick limit--bread is buttered one time--or jealousy would spring up amongst the children about who gets more butter. It seems the time is right for me to take over the serving of bread with humor and imagination. Finally, some children arrive quite early and want to help with bread. I am creating a way for them to enjoy the satisfaction of this work while saving some of the work of bread making for children who arrive at 9am. You will see my Baker puppet from the nursery class take on more a role in the process, and my intention is that the use of this puppet mitigates some of the tension the delay of bread and limits on butter may cause. I do ask for your support of the delay. Do know that the bread and butter will come after we have served and begun the soup.

One might argue/request that I make the ritual shorter before snack time. While I do try to present different blessings upon occasions, and while we do have a shorter song coming for the late fall session, many of the children gain such pleasure out of the repetition of Boomsti Woomsti, Tip Top Tim, and Welcome to the Table that I feel it is right to keep the routine. Indeed, I think our classes provide a safe place for our infants and toddlers to learn the valuable lesson of waiting. It is fine if children protest and ask for bread. I ask that you smile, love your child, and support the form of the group--even if you yourself are very hungry for bread. As Dr. Michaela Gloeckler, when speaking to Waldorf Early Childhood Teachers about the importance of dissatisfaction for child development, translated from Mick Jagger: when we don't always get what we want (food or water right away), we get what we need (learning that we are capable of waiting and defering gratification, a valuable skill).

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

Looking ahead, looking back, pumpkins, sleep

Dear Families,

October 16 is the 6th week for our Thursday session. Friday the 17th is a teacher inservice day; there are no classes. Our final classes for this session take place on Thursday and Friday, October 23 and 24. The next session begins on October 30 and 31st and goes 7 weeks (with a week off for Thanksgiving) until Friday, December 19. It is helpful if you let me know whether you plan to attend next session even if you don't have an application or check with you.

As parents or teachers, we are always seeking a balance between the nourishment of repetition and the joy of new experiences. In our parent & child, nursery, and kindergarten classes, often the teachers strive to provide stability and predictability; much of the variety comes from the play, exploration, conflict, and cooperation of the children in the classes. Teachers also observe the classes and are willing to make adjustments to help a class. Although most sessions I repeat the same puppet show, finger games, and closing dances for all the weeks (it will be with some sadness that I share the buzzy bee with the children for the last time next week), some groups of children seem to ask--in their nonverbal--way for something different.

When a new session starts and I present new rhymes, some children show disappointment or confusion at first, but by the return of the puppet and games on the second or third week, they are already looking forward to what is coming next. The children, of course, may want to keep talking about flowers and bees long into the winter. I have observed nursery children pretend to be Santa Claus in April and go pretend trick or treating in May. Young children like to be allowed to take their time to digest a mood, a festival, a season. Whenever possible, I like to extend the season (keeping the bonfire cloth going, for example) to help with this transition.

For those of you looking ahead to our next session, expect a dance around a pretend farm and pumpkin patch to replace our bonfire, and for Mother Night to visit the stars in our puppet show. We will continue to share soup and bread and butter, and adults will work on knitting when time and mood allows.

We recently published a newsletter for nursery and kindergarten families, and I wanted to share an article about sleep that we shared by Dr. Susan Johnson. Sleep can be a challenge for young children and their parents. One element that increases the difficulty, perhaps, is the plethora of expert advice about sleep--all the advice about how to do things right can conflict, leaving us confused.

Here are 3 things I have found helpful when thinking about sleep.

1. Polly Berrien Berend's statement in "Assurances" in Whole Child/Whole Parent: Peace is more important than sleep. If we cultivate peace in our manner and family, sleep will come.

2. Magda Gerber's reminder that we cannot force a child to go to sleep. We can create peaceful conditions that call forth sleep.

3. Susan Weber's reminder to look at our adult attitudes toward sleep in her article "Sweet Dreams" for Sophia's Hearth.

With warmth and light and thoughts of slumber,

William Dolde

Talking, not talking, nonverbal education

"A night full of talking that hurts
All my worst held-back secrets.
Everything has to do with loving and not loving. . .
This night shall pass,
Then
We have work to do."
--Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī as recited by Ashley Ramsden

A number of years ago I was blessed to be able to accompany Ashley Ramsden--a storyteller and performer who teachers storytelling for future Waldorf teachers--as he performed in Monterey and Santa Cruz. He told long stories to assemblies of Waldorf students. He told stories at libraries and performance spaces. He also recited many poems by Rumi (many of which are like stories). To thank me for playing music for him, Ramsden gave me a recording of him reciting poems by Rumi--these performances and my image of Ramsden come to me from time to time. He was an excellent speaker. He was extremely gifted at not speaking as well. His pauses in a story or poem conveyed so much. When I find myself rushing through an Ellersiek game or tale in class, I think of Ramsden and his mastery of the moment.

I also think of Magda Gerber and her concept of tarry time, the time we give our infants and young toddlers to process information. She had observed that it can sometimes take a minute--literally--for our children to, say, register that we have told them we are going to pick them up to change their diaper. At the same time, some of toddlers are so quick that they are already anticipating (often joyfully) what is about to happen--on both Thursday and Friday the children start buzzing like bees long before the fuzzy bee visits the flower.

This is all to say that I have observed in Thursday and Friday both the joys of talking with our children and some beautiful nonverbal interactions between parents and their children, situations in which the parent gave loving and silent witness to the new challenge or discovery a child was making.

As we help our children create community and transform conflict into conversation, we may find ourselves talking a lot as we notice and describe what is working--and help direct children toward another path that seems to work better, whether to say, "Let's try that again" or "I'll put my hand here to keep you both safe" or "You both seem to want those plates." Even while we respect that our young children learn through moving, bumping, dropping, climbing, falling, rolling, and pushing, we can help them move--as Michael Gurian writes in Boys and Girls Learn Differently--towards using words without having unrealistic expectations that a progression to civility will happen overnight or in a week.

As several parents have reminded me recently, we can also cherish those times when we don't need to speak, where the lesson, the reward, the value, the blessing is inherent in our child's activity and our silent, respectful presence is the greatest gift of all. A number of years ago a parent from one of my classes shared this article about silence and presence with me, finding it in harmony with our observation work in our classes. The chapter "Dailiness" from Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry (available in the Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library in the lobby) resonates with a celebration of doing and not doing, of appreciating the moment without fear that the moment will pass.

Even as we find the need to use words to guide our children throughout the day, we can strive, when the moment is right, to create structure and form with movement, music, rhythm, predictability, and modelling. Dr. Michaela Gloeckler writes about becoming nonverbal educators. In a relatively short number of pages, she provides a picture of three phases of child development and helps inspire us to become worthy of imitation for our children in these early years. She helps link a spiritual picture of human development to practical suggestions for how to be present with and for our children.

With warmth and light,

William Dolde

Michaelmas, New Session, Work, and Play

Dear Families,

      Some of you may have received a number of announcements about Monday's all-school Michaelmas celebration, its joys, and the tight parking situation.  For parent & child families who have not, I wanted to again extend an invitation to the festival while duly noting that it is best to arrive early, carpool, or plan to park at Ken's Corner (525 and Cultus Bay) and fetch a ride from there.  It is my understanding that the school's Parent Council intends to create a sign or some other way for Whidbey Island Waldorf School families to gather in that parking lot if they seek a ride over to the school.  Please do call me 341-4124 or the school 341-5686 if you plan to attend and remain confused.  While the parking may present challenges and the dragon may be too intense or the play slightly too long for some of our very young children, I have heard that it is wonderful to have so many families gathering together to celebrate light and strength in face of the approaching darkness of winter.

There are brochures (enrollment forms) for next session, which begins October 30 & 31, outside the Butterfly Classroom in a red basket.  Thank you for coming to this session, and I look forward to seeing you next session.  It has been and continues to be a school policy that enrollment for Dewdrop and Rosebud classes is on a first-come, first-serve basis (that is, the school does not hold spaces in next session for families in the current session).  Although I am new to this school and community and it seems we have room to grow in our classes, my experience in Baltimore was that enrollment in classes could increase throughout the school year; I recommend putting in an application soon.  Contact me if you have questions. 

  The interaction of play and work in the Waldorf early childhood classroom is a rich one productive one.  For many young children, play and work are often the same--witness the focus many of our children show when washing dishes or how eager so many are to shake the butter jars in class.  This article by Joan Almon about the vital importance of play also shares insight into how our joyful and cooperative work as adults can inspire the independent and developing social play of our children.  Joan Almon was a founding teacher at the Waldorf School of Baltimore and then the Acorn Hill Children's Center (right outside Washington, DC).  She went on to become a teacher of teachers, a well-spoken lecturer, and to found the Alliance for Childhood, an organization that brings together educators, physicians, professors, researchers, and others interested in studying and preserving childhood.  The Alliance benefits from Almon's experience in Waldorf education but also tries to go beyond Waldorf education to promote and preserve childhood for all children.

With warmth and light,

William Dolde

Gerber, Pikler, Steiner, RIE, Loczy, Waldorf

Dear Families,

First, remember that you as parent & child families are invited to our Michaelmas celebration as guests (other grades and the nursery and kindergartens will be making food for all) next Monday, September 29 at the fields behind the school. Our school's newsletter, which I have forwarded on to families who do not already receive it, has a schedule for the evening and background information for the festival. Feel free to choose to come to, say, the first part of the celebration and leave before the play and the bonfire. Some young children (my 5 and half year old son, for example) may find the dragon portrayed by the 6th grade to be too intense during the play, and you may want to wander to the other side of the school and pick berries or the like if it seems best. I also realize that the bonfire and singing may push into bedtime routines. At the same time, if it works for your schedule and you are willing to be flexible if this or that part of the event doesn't quite seem just right for an infant or toddler, it is a well-attended and lively gathering--and in this manner provides a good chance to get a sense of the Whidbey Island Waldorf School community.
Last week's article on conflict had a few references to Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, and I think it would be helpful for me to provide more background information. This article about the lives and work of Emmi Pikler and Magda Gerber is by Susan Weber, founder of Sophia's Hearth in Keene, NH. Although Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education, provided a wealth of information about a panoply of topics, when he helped start the first Waldorf School in Stuttgart in 1918, the school began with grade 1. It soon became clear to Steiner that it would support the movement to develop Waldorf kindergartens. Although he did give some insights to the founding kindergarten teachers, he died before the first kindergartens opened. The initial Waldorf impulse did not include nursery classes and parent & child classes or care situations for infant and toddlers. As the 20th century came to a close, and it was ever more apparent that there was a need for nourishing and nurturing care and community for very young children and their families in light of Waldorf education, master kindergarten teachers such as Susan Weber and Rena Osmer (now of Rudolf Steiner College in Fair Oaks, CA) travelled the country to see if there were existing models of infant and toddler education that had wisdom to share with Waldorf early childhood educators. The article by Weber describes her "discovery" of RIE. Weber has gone on to weave the wisdom of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler into her vision for the creation of a place--"Sophia's Hearth"--that would provide care for children with or without their parents from infancy to age three, along with midwifery services, as inspired by Waldorf education.
While it is hard to summarize the life's work of Pikler and Gerber in a few sentences, here are some of their insights that help us most.
1. Rather than treating times of care such as diapering, feeding, dressing, and bathing as time away from playing with or teaching or enjoying our infants and toddlers, we can use these together times as times of attentiveness, learning, and bonding--leaving both child and caregiver filled with joy and ready to play or work independently or in proximity.
2. We can as much as possible allow infants and toddlers the joy of achieving gross motor milestones such as rolling, crawling, sitting, walking, climbing, balancing, swinging, and jumping in their own way and in their own time. We provide them a loving atmosphere with lots of time to explore and play.
3. As Magda Gerber says, "Who knows better how to be a baby than a baby?" Allow the child to explore and show interest in this or that. We do not need to inundate young children with lots of toys or educational materials. We provide attention and love and a safe environment for children to discover the world.
4. Tell your child what you are going to do (e.g. "I am going to pick you up now.") from the very first.
Although Rudolf Steiner is much more overt about the spiritual elements of his picture of child development, careful reading of Gerber and Pikler shows that they, too, have a profoundly respectful and spiritual understanding of infants and toddlers. I am in the process of ordering books by or inspired by Gerber and Pikler for our parent's library at the school. These include Dear Parent: Treating Infants with Respect and Your Self-Confident Baby by Magda Gerber, 1, 2, 3, The Toddler Years from the Santa Cruz Toddler Center, and selections from Emmi Pikler's work translated into English in an academic bulletin. Emmi Pikler's research from Hungary had a powerful influence on child development research in Europe. Because Dr. Spock's book on childcare was perceived as so all-encompassing, American publishers were loathe to translate Pikler's works into English during her lifetime. You can learn more about Gerber and the parent & child classes she founded (Resources for Infant Educarers) at www.rie.org and of the ongoing work of the child develpment research of Emmi Pikler at www.pikler.org. You can learn more about Susan Weber's work bringing together Pikler, Gerber, and Waldorf at www.sophiashearth.org.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

As Our Children Grow -- Conflicts into Conversation

Dear Families,

Thank you for bringing yourself, your children, and your vegetables to our classes last week. The soup was delicious both days, and children found areas or social situations in the room to explore alone or with parents or with each other.

Our children grow and change. In the generally harmonious and sometimes lively rhythm of our first classes, I had a few parents ask me questions about how to support their children when they were struggling over a toy, taking a toy away, or having a toy taken away. It is my understanding that Vanessa Kohlhauss gave a well-attended and helpful talk about infant and toddler conflict last spring. I also find that I as a parent and teacher have to keep updating and refreshing and renewing my attitude toward conflict as my own children and children in my class change, and as I as a parent and teacher fall into old habits. As Trice Atchinson writes in this article from Sophia's Hearth about conflict, many of us as adults (me, at least, when I do not remind myself) wish the conflict would go away. It is often most helpful for our children, however, when we welcome conflict as a chance for children to grow and learn. When Kim Payne--who gave a talk about discipline last month in Langley--helps schools develop plans to promote social inclusion and decrease bullying, he makes it very clear that the end goal is not a school or a world free from all discord and conflict. Even as he coaches elementary and middle school teachers to deal from a therapist's perspective with some very tricky and potentially abusive situations, he still reminds teachers that for many conflicts, the teacher should, "Not just do something but stand there." Our presence and support are sometimes enough to help children move through and grow from conflict.

Among the many things I like about Atchinson's article is the manner in which she weaves together books from Waldorf education (some of which are in our parent's library in the lobby; Beyond the Rainbow Bridge is an excellent and concise introduction to many of the principles of Waldorf education, for example) with wisdom from Emmi Pikler, Magda Gerber, Loczy in Hungary, and RIE in California. Atchinson suggests that there will be times to redirect the children. Wise Waldorf kindergarten teachers from decades past show us how effective imaginative pictures ("The barge is carrying the wood to the harbor" instead of "You need to put those blocks away now!") can be in guiding our children through the day. There will also be times when--especially if parents find it supportive--the struggle is productive for the children, and we can resist the urge to redirect the children's attention elsewhere. Sophia's Hearth itself, in Keene, New Hampshire, explicitly works with the wisdom of Waldorf Education and Rudolf Steiner and the wisdom of Pikler and Gerber and RIE. Susan Weber, one its directors, finds this weaving an excellent and respectful way to meet the needs of very young children and their parents.

With the infants and toddlers in our classes, we have to make judgment calls. Even after reading the article from Sophia's Hearth, even if you feel inspired to have patience if your child is in a conflict, if you find it is 10:45am and you know your child is exhausted, that may not be the best time to allow your child to struggle over a toy with another child. As the article mentions, sometimes the teacher or parent realizes that this particular moment is not the right one for the conflict to bring learning (hunger, fatigue, new situation, possible illness coming on). When the children are of different ages or at different stages of development when the same age, we may have to intervene more often. If I am available (not leading a circle, song, or with hands full of bread dough), I will help when I can. Like Atchinson in her classes, I find it helpful to be available, nearby, and ready to put a gentle arm to block a blow as children struggle. It is amazing how often it happens that when teacher or parent describes the situation without judgment ("Jane and Jenny are both grabbing for the same shovel"), children, once acknowledged, will find a solution. Elsewhere in Beyond the Rainbow Bridge, Barbara Patterson writes of listening to a dispute between two kindergarten children. Both were heated; both were blaming the others. For Patterson, there seemed to be no way to move the situation without seeming to favor one child over the other. A 6 year old who had heard the whole conversation intervened and said, "Just go try again." The two other children, quite satisfied, returned to their play and worked everything out. Just as Gerber and Pikler encourage us as parents to allow our children to achieve their movement milestones in their own way and in their own time, sometimes our children secretly wish we would trust them to resolve their conflicts in their own way. Because we also want to keep our children safe physically and emotionally, this is difficult work, with lots of room for confusion and not knowing.

Sometimes our attitude toward conflict can be very helpful to young children. When we approach a heated situation with confidence that matters can work out, our children will pick up on our confidence. As Sharifa Oppenheimer suggests (as quoted by Atchinson), if we can use the same tone in possibly tense situations that we use when we say "Here's the towel," we convey this confidence and clarity. I find it helpful for myself to think "Here's the towel" as I prepare to intervene in a possibly explosive situation. Magda Gerber was extremely effective in using "I-statements" when she communicated with infants and toddlers and their parents. Indeed, I-statements can often remove the tone of judgment that "you-statements" can carry. Sometimes, however, even I-statements can trip us up, take us out of the moment, or invite conflict in a different way. Especially in my teaching of nursery and kindergarten children, I find that ontological statements about what is ("The coat is on the floor" rather than "You need to pick up that coat" or "I worry I might trip on this coat") can be most helpful. Two paragraphs from Whole Child/Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends help me to frame my thinking about this. Here is a piece I composed about this beyond personal way of speaking to children. Berends' book is available in the parent's library and is well worth a read. It is not a fast read, and I would differ with some of Berends' recommendations about motor development, toys, and cleaning, but her book helps us as parents transform the challenges of parenting and being into something that will help child and parent grow and learn.

With warmth and light,

William Dolde

music and recipes

Dear Dewdrop and Rosebud families,

      It was wonderful to experience our first Rosebud class on Friday.  As the returning parents have noticed, I have moved furniture around in the classroom and am bringing different elements to the morning.  My hope is with time that you and your child find the classroom and its rhythm nourishing.  I have procured a comfy chair for nursing moms and playful children that seems just right for the way I teach.  Thank you to everyone who had begun a search for a rocking chair.

There have been requests for songs I sing throughout the morning.  Here are lyrics to many of them.   Do not feel you need sing any of these songs at home.  My hope is to inspire you to sing with your child, whether these songs, the Beatles, or Johnny Cash.  Although no studies have shown that the Mozart Effect actually has any benefit for children (it does help the sellers of cds and other products), I would posit that the "Mom or Dad singing as best she or he can" effect will have wonderful benefits for you and your child.   I sometimes think that once I become a better singer, I will be able to sing less.  For now, I find singing throughout the morning helps keep my voice ready for our puppet show and circle time.  I also find that it helps many of our toddlers flow into the room without feeling overly exposed as they might if all the adults were silent.  Balance is always needed, and sometimes silence or quiet seem very healthy for a group of young children.  

Some of the finger games, songs, and verses I use come from Wilma Ellersiek.  Ellersiek was a teacher of drama, rhythm, and music in Germany.  When she became concerned with the trend toward early academics in the 50s (most German schools went back toward play as the center of early childhood curriculum after this, but now I hear that many European schools feel the push to follow the American model of more academics early even though research shows the value of play and movement in the early years), Ellersiek began creating a series of songs and games to provide balance for children and parents.  Some of these games and songs are tender; some are silly and full of nonsense.  All are overflowing with joy and love.  Over the years, I use more and more of these games and songs in my teaching because they have always seemed to be the favorites of the infants, toddlers, and nursery children I interact with.  The collection of traditional rhymes and songs we might know from a childhood in America or elsewhere are also wonderful.  If you want to learn more about Wilma Ellersiek, here is a review of her first book of songs and games.

With warmth and light,

William Dolde

p.s.  Thank you for bringing vegetables to add to our soup.

Welcome to the early fall session

Dear Parent & Child Families,

Thank you for enrolling in the early fall 7 week session of our parent & child classes.  Our Friday Rosebud classes begin on Friday, September 5.  Our Thursday Dewdrop classes begin on Thursday, September 11.  All classes take place from 9am to 11am.  You are invited to gather informally after class on the early childhood playgrounds.  I look forward to our weeks ahead.

This blog will be a place in which we can collect observations and articles from our session.  As a parent of young children, I find it challenging to keep track of various stacks of paper.  Parents in my nursery and parent & child classes in Baltimore appreciated being able to have electronic copies of everything.  This also made it easy to share articles or experiences with relatives while conserving paper.   I also realize that some parents may prefer to limit the time they have to spend on-line.  I am very willing to provide printed copies of all articles and blog entries.

      Here is a word version of my welcome letter.  It conveys details that may be helpful as you find your way to the first class of the session.

      Here, also, is the rhythm (schedule) of our parent & child mornings.  As I mention in the rhythm itself, I may make changes to best meet the needs of each particular group of children and parents.

       The orientation for adults is in the Butterfly Room on Tuesday, September 2, from 6 to 7pm.  Although these orientations are traditionally for families new to the Dewdrop and Rosebud classes, returning families may wish to come as well because I am a teacher new to the Whidbey Island Waldorf School.

       From 7 to 8pm on Tuesday, September 2, I will be presenting a talk for any interested adults in the Butterfly Room.  I encourage you to read the chapter "The Blessing of Acceptance" from Dr. Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee in preparation for the talk.

       Please feel free to ask questions or request topics for articles or blog entries.

Blessings on our session ahead,

William Dolde