Outside the classroom is a printed copy and here is a electronic copy of the chapter "Genuine Encounter" from Your Child's Self-Esteem by Dorothy Corkille Briggs. Three copies of this book are newly available in the Kathrine Dickerson Memorial Library.
It took many years for Magda Gerber to consent to (co)write a book. She preferred to work in the present and presence of other teachers and parents. When asked what books she would recommend, Your Child's Self-Esteem was one of the few books Gerber recommended.
The concept of self-esteem receives a great deal of somewhat justified criticism. Followers of Professor Carol Dweck (such as Kim Payne) bash a sort of self-esteem curriculum or style of parenting in which every action a child does is responded to with, "Good job!" "You're such a good boy!" "You're such a good girl!" "You're so smart!" As Dweck and others show, this sort of global praise actually interferes with a child's motivation to challenge her or himself, learn, try new things, and be willing to solve problems mentally and socially. But, self-esteem in and of itself is very helpful, and Corkille Briggs (along with Gerber, Pikler, and numerous Waldorf educators) give us tools to help children develop their self-esteem without being paralyzed by praise or criticism. Indeed, in the chapter, "The Safety of Nonjudgment," Corkille Briggs clarifies the perils of praise and criticism.
"Genuine Encounter" encourages parents and teachers to free themselves from the buzz and busyness of life to provide moments of focussed attention to their children. It is quality rather than quantity that Corkille Briggs encourages us to seek. Although she does not work out the foundational pictures of human development that inspire Waldorf education, what Corkille Briggs describes for parents is very much the process that Waldorf teachers go through with their students, either alone in their meditative life or in concert with their colleagues. Rather than forcing a curriculum upon children, Waldorf teachers strive to become so attentive and observant (very much again like the sympathetic stream of RIE and Gerber and Pikler) that the proper activity to help the situation and child will become manifest. This ability to attend with focus is one of two, as it were, essential elements of Waldorf early childhood education. The other is the ability to provide an example for children of real, meaningful, beautiful, physical work such as kneading bread, ironing, washing, chopping wood, sawing, sweeping, raking, cleaning, building, folding, sewing, knitting, and soforth. Children take up this work with their whole being and imitate it either exactly or are inspired by the focus as they take up their own work and play.
Here are other chapters in Your Child's Self-Esteem I recommend.
The Safety of Nonjudgment
The Safety of "Owning" Feelings (rather than saying "You're OK" to our children to mollify them, we can describe what we see: "I saw you trip and now you are crying. I want to help you feel better. I wonder if a hug would help.")
The Safety of Unique Growing (normal child development is one step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, two steps back, and soforth. Once a child walks, it is reasonable and developmentally appropriate for the child to want to crawl. If a 5 year old is driving us crazy with baby talk, it may be by accepting our child is seeking permission to act younger we will empower our 5 year old to speak in many more and more beautiful ways).
Lifting the Mask of Jealousy (makes the helpful point that some jealousy--struggles over toys in an early childhood classroom, for example--and rivalry is helpful for children's development. They learn to solve problems, to cope. Too much jealousy, however, shuts down the children's ability to respond and solve problems: Pokemon cards, fancy toys from home coming into the classroom, for example. Some children fare much better on a play date during which favorite toys are taking a nap, or where the play date is somewhere other than home. We need not condemn a child in this phase, but realize that we need to adjust the stimuli to make the possibility of jealousy manageable).
With warmth and light,
William Dolde
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