Staying in the Now

 I am not a judge or a critic.  My favorite song is the one I am writing today or tomorrow.

Duke Ellington

Dear Families,

      In 2004 I was fortunate to attend a two week RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) intensive in the home of its founder, Magda Gerber, in Los Angeles.  So much of our observation and conversation and work there focused on the idea of supporting our infants and toddlers where they were in the moment--at their stage of development--rather than trying to move them along to the next activity or toy or event.  I remember one activity in particular:  we as adults were to go around Magda's house and begin playing as if we were young toddlers with the play objects that had been placed around.  The 4 instructors then came and interacted with us in 4 different ways

1)  One praised us and kept calling me, "Good boy!  You're so smart"
2)  Another kept trying to coach us to do better and more with our toys.
3)  Another kept quizzing us about often unimportant issues "What shape is that?"  "What color is that"
4)  The 4th just stayed pretty far back and watched.

The intrusiveness of the first 3 was fairly easy to predict and experience.  What I found surprising was that I was pretty aware of the 4th (who reflected that I seemed to stay engaged in my play), and her presence distracted me from the play.  It may be that a toddler might not notice, or may notice all the more, us even if we are trying to give respectful and sacred space to their explorations.  At a class we were observing during the training, two toddlers became embroiled in what could become a conflict, and the instructor noted that all of our attention--even though silent--might be fueling the conflict, and it might free the toddlers if we shifted our attention elsewhere.  We shifted, and the toddlers relaxed and worked out their struggle (with older children I think of Richard Louv's Last Child in the Woods and children's need for secret spaces beyond the vision of adults).

There are plenty of other times, however, when staying out of the way is not our best option--when we need to be close (the practicing to be an Archangel pose from my last talk) to prevent biting or other possible harm, when--as happens more frequently as children move into the nursery years--we ask children to try things again if their play excludes or ostracizes another child, when a child is really upset because she "had that toy first!" (even if only in her mind, which is a very real experience), or with attentiveness we realize our growing child does need scaffolding or support to help him or her progress gracefully toward the next step of the journey.

Last week in our Dewdrop and Rosebud classes I watched as discretely as I could the intense and delightful focus and presence our children showed during play, or my finger games or violin, or at other points during the morning.  It made me reflect upon Magda Gerber, Waldorf Early Childhood Education, and Eckhart Tolle.  It seems to me that the awakening work Tolle guides us toward is something we already had in early childhood--the ability to be fully present in the moment--and I wonder how much of this work we can offer our children from the start.  While we do not necessarily need to read Tolle's books as bedtime stories, I find it helps me a lot--as I decide when to step in and how much help is needed--to keep a long term goal of nurturing our children's ability to be attentive, aware, and content in the moment in mind (indeed, our school's mandate seeks to support the evolution of human consciousness).  This helps me to find the right words--or to realize that no words are needed.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde

p.s.  While I love the Ellington quote, my hope is that if tomorrow's song is our favorite song it is because we know we will be present and aware when composing it tomorrow (rather than, say, letting our attention drift from the work of the present moment with the idea, "This isn't great, or important, or real, or fun, because the real work and joy will come tomorrow").

In Waldorf books on play in early childhood