Dear Families,
Welcome and welcome back. Here are a few links and reminders for new families.
1. We will make soup each week. Please bring a vegetable when possible.
2. Here is a link to the late fall welcome letter. I have also posted a copy outside the room.
3. Here are lyrics to many of the songs I sing in class.
When possible, I will post a copy of my blog entry or article outside the classroom. I have heard from some parents that this works better for them. The electronic versions will remain (ideally for months or years ahead) as an easy way for you to retrieve an article or entry if you seek to share it with a friend weeks or years from now.
Over the next few weeks, I will preview some new books in the Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library (in the lobby upstairs from Butterfly classroom). Many parents from past classes have found 1, 2, 3 . . . The Toddler Years by Irene Van der Zande to be extremely helpful. It comes from the wisdom of Magda Gerber and RIE put into practice at the Santa Cruz toddler center. Its strength is that the chapters are short, direct, and effective. Parents find the chapters on fighting, biting, eating, toilet learning, tanrums, sibling rivalry, and separation ("Saying Goodbye is Sad") particularly helpful. Although the writing style is very different from the densely wrought prose of Whole Child/Whole Parent (more on this in a coming week), the gesture toward childhood is similar. Rather than reacting to our toddler's frustrating behavior with disappointment, we accept it--perhaps even welcome it--as an opportunity for transformation and growth. We can guide our children toward more appropriate behavior with calmness and clarity because we have accepted that these behaviors belong to childhood--are normal, even healthy.
I have summarized the chapter "Planning Ahead" and added some of my own thoughts to structuring our days with a toddler in mind.
While many parents find 1, 2, 3 helpful, it does not necessarily reflect what they or I would do in every situation, nor probably what most Waldorf Early Childhood teachers would recommend in every situation. In particular, the manner in which Waldorf teachers approach giving choices is a bit different. Rather than creating a myriad of potentially confusing questions throughout the day ("What color cup do you want? Do you want the red shirt or the blue shirt?), we foster the children's development of autonomy by providing ample amounts of time to play with open-ended materials. As long as the child's activity is safe, we allow the child to choose and create how to play. We develop our children's sense of trust when parents make choices about warmth, playdates, bed time, meals, and the like.
With warmth and light,
William Geoffrey Dolde
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Assurances from Whole Child, Invitation, Bread
Dear Families,
Several copies of the book Whole Child/Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends will be in our Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library soon. This book has been one of the most helpful books on parenting and teaching for me. Berends does not attempt to make the prose or argument simple. Indeed, where there are straightforward suggestions on motor development or selecting toys, I may find myself in disagreement. But as I read and reread her long chapters that weave together world religions, literature, and philosophy, I found myself able to acknowledge the gifts our children (and peers) give us through behaviors and situations that challenge us. As Berends writes, if we already knew what to do as parents (or teachers), there would be no reason for us to be parents. Assurances from the chapter entitled "Spirit" provides an introduction to Berends' manner of discourse. I will share other sections from her book in upcoming sessions of our Dewdrop and Rosebud classes.
Our new session begins October 30 and 31. I will have extra copies of the registration available this Thursday and Friday. I know several of you were not able to make the orientation before this session. Even though all families seem comfortable in class, parents may nonetheless enjoy coming to the 3pm orientation this Sunday. Because Adam Fawcett and I will have set up some sort of DVD system in the Butterfly Room, I will avail myself of this technology and show additional footage from Loczy of children and play and toddlers in social situations during the 3pm orientation. When our administrator Maureen Marklin learned of the topic for the 4pm public talk this Sunday, she wished that we could let more parents and expectant parents know of the topic (saying it was the sort of event she wished was available for her as a new mother). I encourage you to invite friends who are new or expectant parents to come this Sunday as well. New parents are welcome to bring babes in arms but should realize that we will be spending a good deal of time looking at (very valuable and peaceful, it is true) dvd clips on a relatively large screen.
When I became a parent & child teacher in Baltimore, I first worked in a classroom that had two toddler size toilets and sinks as part of the classroom--with a half door. In the younger classes, we kept the door closed. With older children, we kept the door opened, and a toddler or two would work towards independence in using the toilet or washing hands. One session, however, a group of five toddlers seemed to want to use the sinks and toilets all the time; at times, there seemed to be no interest in bread, soup, Ellersiek games, dancing, snack, or the like; the entire focus of the children was the competition for the two sinks or two toilets. If I had been twenty years more experienced, I might have taken a philosophical approach to this and convinced parents that this was the emergent curriculum for that group--and been believed. At the time, it seemed I needed to come up with a creative way to set a boundary that would satisfy children and parents--and would allow families to enjoy the snack, song, rhymes, and play that the classroom and curriculum could present. I turned out the light, put a child-proof handle on the half door, and asked the children to speak in hushed tones near the bathroom because a friendly Nix had moved in and was sleeping. I sang "Nix in the Water," a traditional kindergarten singing game and pretended to listen to see if the Nix sang back. At times that worked in concert with the flow of the rest of the class, I would let the children know that the Nix had woken up and gone away and that this was the time to use the sinks and the toilets, but to do so quietly and somewhat quickly so we could keep the Nix's home peaceful. The toddlers were satisfied with this imaginative picture, and our classes continued as parents and I had planned initially. In future sessions, the bathroom did not present such attraction or tension, and the Nix seemed to have moved away.
Our current Dewdrop and Rosebud classes present me another opportunity to create a boundary with an artistic image. Some parents in Dewdrop are finding their children quite willing to try soup and new vegetables if the bread is delayed a bit. I want to make this delay possible without putting other parents in the awkward situation of not knowing how to serve or to whom to serve bread. Other parents are finding themselves in power struggles with their toddlers over how many times to put more and more butter on a roll. While one could argue that the fats in organic, homemade butter have health benefits that outweigh the health benefits of organic spelt bread, I have seen the battle over butter take over the mood of the snack table. Even though I would be glad to give more butter at home, in the nursery and kindergarten I learned very early to give a clear and quick limit--bread is buttered one time--or jealousy would spring up amongst the children about who gets more butter. It seems the time is right for me to take over the serving of bread with humor and imagination. Finally, some children arrive quite early and want to help with bread. I am creating a way for them to enjoy the satisfaction of this work while saving some of the work of bread making for children who arrive at 9am. You will see my Baker puppet from the nursery class take on more a role in the process, and my intention is that the use of this puppet mitigates some of the tension the delay of bread and limits on butter may cause. I do ask for your support of the delay. Do know that the bread and butter will come after we have served and begun the soup.
One might argue/request that I make the ritual shorter before snack time. While I do try to present different blessings upon occasions, and while we do have a shorter song coming for the late fall session, many of the children gain such pleasure out of the repetition of Boomsti Woomsti, Tip Top Tim, and Welcome to the Table that I feel it is right to keep the routine. Indeed, I think our classes provide a safe place for our infants and toddlers to learn the valuable lesson of waiting. It is fine if children protest and ask for bread. I ask that you smile, love your child, and support the form of the group--even if you yourself are very hungry for bread. As Dr. Michaela Gloeckler, when speaking to Waldorf Early Childhood Teachers about the importance of dissatisfaction for child development, translated from Mick Jagger: when we don't always get what we want (food or water right away), we get what we need (learning that we are capable of waiting and defering gratification, a valuable skill).
With warmth and light,
William Geoffrey Dolde
Several copies of the book Whole Child/Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends will be in our Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library soon. This book has been one of the most helpful books on parenting and teaching for me. Berends does not attempt to make the prose or argument simple. Indeed, where there are straightforward suggestions on motor development or selecting toys, I may find myself in disagreement. But as I read and reread her long chapters that weave together world religions, literature, and philosophy, I found myself able to acknowledge the gifts our children (and peers) give us through behaviors and situations that challenge us. As Berends writes, if we already knew what to do as parents (or teachers), there would be no reason for us to be parents. Assurances from the chapter entitled "Spirit" provides an introduction to Berends' manner of discourse. I will share other sections from her book in upcoming sessions of our Dewdrop and Rosebud classes.
Our new session begins October 30 and 31. I will have extra copies of the registration available this Thursday and Friday. I know several of you were not able to make the orientation before this session. Even though all families seem comfortable in class, parents may nonetheless enjoy coming to the 3pm orientation this Sunday. Because Adam Fawcett and I will have set up some sort of DVD system in the Butterfly Room, I will avail myself of this technology and show additional footage from Loczy of children and play and toddlers in social situations during the 3pm orientation. When our administrator Maureen Marklin learned of the topic for the 4pm public talk this Sunday, she wished that we could let more parents and expectant parents know of the topic (saying it was the sort of event she wished was available for her as a new mother). I encourage you to invite friends who are new or expectant parents to come this Sunday as well. New parents are welcome to bring babes in arms but should realize that we will be spending a good deal of time looking at (very valuable and peaceful, it is true) dvd clips on a relatively large screen.
When I became a parent & child teacher in Baltimore, I first worked in a classroom that had two toddler size toilets and sinks as part of the classroom--with a half door. In the younger classes, we kept the door closed. With older children, we kept the door opened, and a toddler or two would work towards independence in using the toilet or washing hands. One session, however, a group of five toddlers seemed to want to use the sinks and toilets all the time; at times, there seemed to be no interest in bread, soup, Ellersiek games, dancing, snack, or the like; the entire focus of the children was the competition for the two sinks or two toilets. If I had been twenty years more experienced, I might have taken a philosophical approach to this and convinced parents that this was the emergent curriculum for that group--and been believed. At the time, it seemed I needed to come up with a creative way to set a boundary that would satisfy children and parents--and would allow families to enjoy the snack, song, rhymes, and play that the classroom and curriculum could present. I turned out the light, put a child-proof handle on the half door, and asked the children to speak in hushed tones near the bathroom because a friendly Nix had moved in and was sleeping. I sang "Nix in the Water," a traditional kindergarten singing game and pretended to listen to see if the Nix sang back. At times that worked in concert with the flow of the rest of the class, I would let the children know that the Nix had woken up and gone away and that this was the time to use the sinks and the toilets, but to do so quietly and somewhat quickly so we could keep the Nix's home peaceful. The toddlers were satisfied with this imaginative picture, and our classes continued as parents and I had planned initially. In future sessions, the bathroom did not present such attraction or tension, and the Nix seemed to have moved away.
Our current Dewdrop and Rosebud classes present me another opportunity to create a boundary with an artistic image. Some parents in Dewdrop are finding their children quite willing to try soup and new vegetables if the bread is delayed a bit. I want to make this delay possible without putting other parents in the awkward situation of not knowing how to serve or to whom to serve bread. Other parents are finding themselves in power struggles with their toddlers over how many times to put more and more butter on a roll. While one could argue that the fats in organic, homemade butter have health benefits that outweigh the health benefits of organic spelt bread, I have seen the battle over butter take over the mood of the snack table. Even though I would be glad to give more butter at home, in the nursery and kindergarten I learned very early to give a clear and quick limit--bread is buttered one time--or jealousy would spring up amongst the children about who gets more butter. It seems the time is right for me to take over the serving of bread with humor and imagination. Finally, some children arrive quite early and want to help with bread. I am creating a way for them to enjoy the satisfaction of this work while saving some of the work of bread making for children who arrive at 9am. You will see my Baker puppet from the nursery class take on more a role in the process, and my intention is that the use of this puppet mitigates some of the tension the delay of bread and limits on butter may cause. I do ask for your support of the delay. Do know that the bread and butter will come after we have served and begun the soup.
One might argue/request that I make the ritual shorter before snack time. While I do try to present different blessings upon occasions, and while we do have a shorter song coming for the late fall session, many of the children gain such pleasure out of the repetition of Boomsti Woomsti, Tip Top Tim, and Welcome to the Table that I feel it is right to keep the routine. Indeed, I think our classes provide a safe place for our infants and toddlers to learn the valuable lesson of waiting. It is fine if children protest and ask for bread. I ask that you smile, love your child, and support the form of the group--even if you yourself are very hungry for bread. As Dr. Michaela Gloeckler, when speaking to Waldorf Early Childhood Teachers about the importance of dissatisfaction for child development, translated from Mick Jagger: when we don't always get what we want (food or water right away), we get what we need (learning that we are capable of waiting and defering gratification, a valuable skill).
With warmth and light,
William Geoffrey Dolde
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Looking ahead, looking back, pumpkins, sleep
Dear Families,
October 16 is the 6th week for our Thursday session. Friday the 17th is a teacher inservice day; there are no classes. Our final classes for this session take place on Thursday and Friday, October 23 and 24. The next session begins on October 30 and 31st and goes 7 weeks (with a week off for Thanksgiving) until Friday, December 19. It is helpful if you let me know whether you plan to attend next session even if you don't have an application or check with you.
As parents or teachers, we are always seeking a balance between the nourishment of repetition and the joy of new experiences. In our parent & child, nursery, and kindergarten classes, often the teachers strive to provide stability and predictability; much of the variety comes from the play, exploration, conflict, and cooperation of the children in the classes. Teachers also observe the classes and are willing to make adjustments to help a class. Although most sessions I repeat the same puppet show, finger games, and closing dances for all the weeks (it will be with some sadness that I share the buzzy bee with the children for the last time next week), some groups of children seem to ask--in their nonverbal--way for something different.
When a new session starts and I present new rhymes, some children show disappointment or confusion at first, but by the return of the puppet and games on the second or third week, they are already looking forward to what is coming next. The children, of course, may want to keep talking about flowers and bees long into the winter. I have observed nursery children pretend to be Santa Claus in April and go pretend trick or treating in May. Young children like to be allowed to take their time to digest a mood, a festival, a season. Whenever possible, I like to extend the season (keeping the bonfire cloth going, for example) to help with this transition.
For those of you looking ahead to our next session, expect a dance around a pretend farm and pumpkin patch to replace our bonfire, and for Mother Night to visit the stars in our puppet show. We will continue to share soup and bread and butter, and adults will work on knitting when time and mood allows.
We recently published a newsletter for nursery and kindergarten families, and I wanted to share an article about sleep that we shared by Dr. Susan Johnson. Sleep can be a challenge for young children and their parents. One element that increases the difficulty, perhaps, is the plethora of expert advice about sleep--all the advice about how to do things right can conflict, leaving us confused.
Here are 3 things I have found helpful when thinking about sleep.
1. Polly Berrien Berend's statement in "Assurances" in Whole Child/Whole Parent: Peace is more important than sleep. If we cultivate peace in our manner and family, sleep will come.
2. Magda Gerber's reminder that we cannot force a child to go to sleep. We can create peaceful conditions that call forth sleep.
3. Susan Weber's reminder to look at our adult attitudes toward sleep in her article "Sweet Dreams" for Sophia's Hearth.
With warmth and light and thoughts of slumber,
William Dolde
October 16 is the 6th week for our Thursday session. Friday the 17th is a teacher inservice day; there are no classes. Our final classes for this session take place on Thursday and Friday, October 23 and 24. The next session begins on October 30 and 31st and goes 7 weeks (with a week off for Thanksgiving) until Friday, December 19. It is helpful if you let me know whether you plan to attend next session even if you don't have an application or check with you.
As parents or teachers, we are always seeking a balance between the nourishment of repetition and the joy of new experiences. In our parent & child, nursery, and kindergarten classes, often the teachers strive to provide stability and predictability; much of the variety comes from the play, exploration, conflict, and cooperation of the children in the classes. Teachers also observe the classes and are willing to make adjustments to help a class. Although most sessions I repeat the same puppet show, finger games, and closing dances for all the weeks (it will be with some sadness that I share the buzzy bee with the children for the last time next week), some groups of children seem to ask--in their nonverbal--way for something different.
When a new session starts and I present new rhymes, some children show disappointment or confusion at first, but by the return of the puppet and games on the second or third week, they are already looking forward to what is coming next. The children, of course, may want to keep talking about flowers and bees long into the winter. I have observed nursery children pretend to be Santa Claus in April and go pretend trick or treating in May. Young children like to be allowed to take their time to digest a mood, a festival, a season. Whenever possible, I like to extend the season (keeping the bonfire cloth going, for example) to help with this transition.
For those of you looking ahead to our next session, expect a dance around a pretend farm and pumpkin patch to replace our bonfire, and for Mother Night to visit the stars in our puppet show. We will continue to share soup and bread and butter, and adults will work on knitting when time and mood allows.
We recently published a newsletter for nursery and kindergarten families, and I wanted to share an article about sleep that we shared by Dr. Susan Johnson. Sleep can be a challenge for young children and their parents. One element that increases the difficulty, perhaps, is the plethora of expert advice about sleep--all the advice about how to do things right can conflict, leaving us confused.
Here are 3 things I have found helpful when thinking about sleep.
1. Polly Berrien Berend's statement in "Assurances" in Whole Child/Whole Parent: Peace is more important than sleep. If we cultivate peace in our manner and family, sleep will come.
2. Magda Gerber's reminder that we cannot force a child to go to sleep. We can create peaceful conditions that call forth sleep.
3. Susan Weber's reminder to look at our adult attitudes toward sleep in her article "Sweet Dreams" for Sophia's Hearth.
With warmth and light and thoughts of slumber,
William Dolde
Monday, October 6, 2008
Talking, not talking, nonverbal education
"A night full of talking that hurts
All my worst held-back secrets.
Everything has to do with loving and not loving. . .
This night shall pass,
Then
We have work to do."
--Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī as recited by Ashley Ramsden
A number of years ago I was blessed to be able to accompany Ashley Ramsden--a storyteller and performer who teachers storytelling for future Waldorf teachers--as he performed in Monterey and Santa Cruz. He told long stories to assemblies of Waldorf students. He told stories at libraries and performance spaces. He also recited many poems by Rumi (many of which are like stories). To thank me for playing music for him, Ramsden gave me a recording of him reciting poems by Rumi--these performances and my image of Ramsden come to me from time to time. He was an excellent speaker. He was extremely gifted at not speaking as well. His pauses in a story or poem conveyed so much. When I find myself rushing through an Ellersiek game or tale in class, I think of Ramsden and his mastery of the moment.
I also think of Magda Gerber and her concept of tarry time, the time we give our infants and young toddlers to process information. She had observed that it can sometimes take a minute--literally--for our children to, say, register that we have told them we are going to pick them up to change their diaper. At the same time, some of toddlers are so quick that they are already anticipating (often joyfully) what is about to happen--on both Thursday and Friday the children start buzzing like bees long before the fuzzy bee visits the flower.
This is all to say that I have observed in Thursday and Friday both the joys of talking with our children and some beautiful nonverbal interactions between parents and their children, situations in which the parent gave loving and silent witness to the new challenge or discovery a child was making.
As we help our children create community and transform conflict into conversation, we may find ourselves talking a lot as we notice and describe what is working--and help direct children toward another path that seems to work better, whether to say, "Let's try that again" or "I'll put my hand here to keep you both safe" or "You both seem to want those plates." Even while we respect that our young children learn through moving, bumping, dropping, climbing, falling, rolling, and pushing, we can help them move--as Michael Gurian writes in Boys and Girls Learn Differently--towards using words without having unrealistic expectations that a progression to civility will happen overnight or in a week.
As several parents have reminded me recently, we can also cherish those times when we don't need to speak, where the lesson, the reward, the value, the blessing is inherent in our child's activity and our silent, respectful presence is the greatest gift of all. A number of years ago a parent from one of my classes shared this article about silence and presence with me, finding it in harmony with our observation work in our classes. The chapter "Dailiness" from Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry (available in the Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library in the lobby) resonates with a celebration of doing and not doing, of appreciating the moment without fear that the moment will pass.
Even as we find the need to use words to guide our children throughout the day, we can strive, when the moment is right, to create structure and form with movement, music, rhythm, predictability, and modelling. Dr. Michaela Gloeckler writes about becoming nonverbal educators. In a relatively short number of pages, she provides a picture of three phases of child development and helps inspire us to become worthy of imitation for our children in these early years. She helps link a spiritual picture of human development to practical suggestions for how to be present with and for our children.
With warmth and light,
William Dolde
All my worst held-back secrets.
Everything has to do with loving and not loving. . .
This night shall pass,
Then
We have work to do."
--Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī as recited by Ashley Ramsden
A number of years ago I was blessed to be able to accompany Ashley Ramsden--a storyteller and performer who teachers storytelling for future Waldorf teachers--as he performed in Monterey and Santa Cruz. He told long stories to assemblies of Waldorf students. He told stories at libraries and performance spaces. He also recited many poems by Rumi (many of which are like stories). To thank me for playing music for him, Ramsden gave me a recording of him reciting poems by Rumi--these performances and my image of Ramsden come to me from time to time. He was an excellent speaker. He was extremely gifted at not speaking as well. His pauses in a story or poem conveyed so much. When I find myself rushing through an Ellersiek game or tale in class, I think of Ramsden and his mastery of the moment.
I also think of Magda Gerber and her concept of tarry time, the time we give our infants and young toddlers to process information. She had observed that it can sometimes take a minute--literally--for our children to, say, register that we have told them we are going to pick them up to change their diaper. At the same time, some of toddlers are so quick that they are already anticipating (often joyfully) what is about to happen--on both Thursday and Friday the children start buzzing like bees long before the fuzzy bee visits the flower.
This is all to say that I have observed in Thursday and Friday both the joys of talking with our children and some beautiful nonverbal interactions between parents and their children, situations in which the parent gave loving and silent witness to the new challenge or discovery a child was making.
As we help our children create community and transform conflict into conversation, we may find ourselves talking a lot as we notice and describe what is working--and help direct children toward another path that seems to work better, whether to say, "Let's try that again" or "I'll put my hand here to keep you both safe" or "You both seem to want those plates." Even while we respect that our young children learn through moving, bumping, dropping, climbing, falling, rolling, and pushing, we can help them move--as Michael Gurian writes in Boys and Girls Learn Differently--towards using words without having unrealistic expectations that a progression to civility will happen overnight or in a week.
As several parents have reminded me recently, we can also cherish those times when we don't need to speak, where the lesson, the reward, the value, the blessing is inherent in our child's activity and our silent, respectful presence is the greatest gift of all. A number of years ago a parent from one of my classes shared this article about silence and presence with me, finding it in harmony with our observation work in our classes. The chapter "Dailiness" from Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry (available in the Katherine Dickerson Memorial Library in the lobby) resonates with a celebration of doing and not doing, of appreciating the moment without fear that the moment will pass.
Even as we find the need to use words to guide our children throughout the day, we can strive, when the moment is right, to create structure and form with movement, music, rhythm, predictability, and modelling. Dr. Michaela Gloeckler writes about becoming nonverbal educators. In a relatively short number of pages, she provides a picture of three phases of child development and helps inspire us to become worthy of imitation for our children in these early years. She helps link a spiritual picture of human development to practical suggestions for how to be present with and for our children.
With warmth and light,
William Dolde
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